For years, there has been a nuisance stalking Philadelphia’s streets. You have probably seen the evidence yourself on our statues, our sidewalks, and maybe even your windshield. They stalk our parts, strut along our byways, and their appetite for everything from our pretzels to our discarded coffee cups seems insatiable. They are Philadelphia’s pigeons, and they are everywhere.
However, this won’t be the case for long. A new Kickstarter has gotten under way, with an ambition no less than replacing all of the pigeons in Philadelphia with cats. Backers of this initiative can choose their level of involvement and rewards from simply contributing to the mountain of cat litter to having one of these ten thousand cats named after them specifically. With stretch goals that include a variety of collars, cat-themed signage, and pigeon-attracting cat habitats (or “catbitats”), the Kickstarter is already getting a great deal of attention.
“The thought just came to me,” said Debbie, founder of the PhiladelphiCat Project. “I love cats. I love every kind of cat. I am a cat lover and I love to run. I keep running past ugly displays from pigeons and seeing how they roam free, and it upsets me. There are so many cats out there who need purpose, and homes, and maybe even hugs… but I can’t hug very cat…”
“I’m sorry,” she went on, after the crying subsided. “I was thinking about cats again.”
PhiladelphiCatis several thousand dollars short of its goal, which is good news for local pigeons like Squint, an immigrant from New York.
“We had to work our tailfeathers off to get down to Philly. You guys have the best pretzels in the world and we’re not gonna given ’em up without a fight!”
“We ain’t scared!” Squint’s friend Pesto added. “Bring it on! We’ll show those cats where they can put their [REDACTED] litter box!”
Philadelphia’s animal control board and mayor’s office could not be reached for comment.